By: Gus Victoria
My past few posts if you were paying attention, and why wouldn’t you be, were about serious subject matter. They displayed an anger, righteous in my eyes, with the state of the world and our society. Today I wanted to shift gears a little bit and stray away from the poetic and lyrical yet still retain some sense of seriousness. Then I realized it wasn’t working. Why wasn’t it working? I’m still angry right? The words should come to an experienced poet without too much trouble. What was I doing wrong? A struggle must have balance. Everything must. Outside of love, faith, and hope it is never good to let one thing so consume you. And even with those three you must retain perspective.
So with that in mind I decided instead to write about dinosaurs. Why dinosaurs you might ask yourself. Because it makes sense dammit! Well for me it does, there is not a time in my childhood where I do not remember having easy access to a book on dinosaurs. I was a strange child so these books often were more like encyclopedias, but it was ok, I could tell you the difference between velociraptor and deinonychus. I was probably the only 8 year old kid in Northern California that could correctly pronounce Opisthocoelicaudia and Pachyrhinosaurus correctly and laugh at you when you couldn’t. I was the real-life version of the annoying kid in Jurassic Park before the movie. For the duration of my childhood, until about the time I hit high school I thought I would grow up to be a paleontologist. It seemed a given. Now I can’t tell you why that did not happen because frankly I don’t know. I found other interests and pursued them eventually getting a degree in religious studies. What a turn right?
I do not regret that particular path I took. I very much enjoy what I studied and am proud to have a degree that fulfills my deep desire to learn. It may not be marketable, but it makes me happy. Can you truly put value on that? All this notwithstanding, dinosaurs are my balancing force. They awaken in me memories of youth and hope and joy. I was always excited to talk about these giant animals that died out millions of years before. Though I have forgotten much over the years in the way of facts and pronunciations thankfully I can still call upon those feelings when thinking about my beloved lizards. And I do.
The topics I am passionate about and that I have written about recently are not those youthful, innocent topics. They are not ones we can see with open, wide-eyes full of wonder and optimistic expectations. They are problems that require much sacrifice, much pain, much grief. To constantly carry those feelings. To constantly feel that and nothing else is to risk numbing oneself to the world. When one ceases to feel and becomes numb he can no longer empathize. When that happens we cease to be part of the human community. We become disconnected. Without communion there is no change. You become an empty howling voice in the wilderness, more a danger than an aid.
So when I feel myself get to that point where I am consumed with anger or indignation. When I want to scream to the fours corners of the world at the injustice of it all until I feel nothing I remember my old friends. Diplodocus and Styracosaurus; T-Rex and Ornithomimus, Ankylosaurus and all the others. I remember also the coolest dinosaur of all, the Arthur Fonzarelli of the the animal kingdom; Iguanodon. Ayyy!
