(Originally posted October 3, 2010)
Blank empty space, save for a little flickering line. It
flashes on and off proclaiming to you your inadequacy. This little cursor
curses you as you stare at it seeing nothing behind it and only a sea of white
empty space in front. It doesn’t matter if your essay is due in 5 hours or if
you have three weeks to finish. That little fuck mocks you whether you have
days to your deadline, or if slept right through it after that drunken office
party. At some point every person that has ever had to write comes upon that
proverbial wall; the dreaded writer’s block.
The reasons can be varied. Maybe your boyfriend left you for
an Asian hooker named Jeff and you are suffering realizations of inadequacy. Perhaps
you finally figured out that no one really cares about your lifelong collection
of Osmond Brothers memorabilia. Or it
simply could be that you were born without an imagination. Whatever the reason, the result is the same.
You can’t for the sake of anything holy (or unholy for my Satanic readers) come
up with words to fill your page. Everyone has their own remedy, and I encourage
you to share yours in the comment box below. First though I will share with you
my remedy.
The age-old companion of the artist: alcohol.
I never get drunk before I write, but sometimes a little bit
of gin goes a long way. Especially if it
is mixed in some tasty juice, Snoop was definitely on to something. Now this is
my drink of choice for writing of course. And let me tell you it always works,
no matter what it is I am supposed to write about. Gin is to my writing as
spinach was to Popeye’s biceps. It empowers me in weird and cartoonish ways.
It doesn’t make my writing good, but it allows me to tear
down that wall that blocks me from writing. In the process I am usually able to
find something usable and with some tinkering make it readable. Good writing
takes talent, time, and practice so don’t think this remedy will make you the
next King, Rowling, or Poe. For all we know your talent amounts to nothing
beyond Meyer. If that’s case, please cease reading this now and go reassess
your life. The world doesn’t need another Twilight.
I understand some people use music, poetry, or meditation to
overcome this writer’s obstacle. They are nice and might work, but trust me;
they are nowhere near as much fun.
