The Heart Knows No Labels (Valentine's Day Rant 2014)

By: Gus Victoria

It has been quite a while since I wrote one of these. Always the romantic I have often been accused of being in love with love. Such accusations I cannot deny and wear as a sort of badge of honor. Love is to me a force unlike any other. It can conquer hate, make friends of enemies and sustain faith and hope when they are flagging. Because of this fundamental principle I hold as ideal I have learned to hate this day: February 14. I see it as turning what should be natural and free into a compulsory act stripping in the process the depth of the love or, at the very least, making muddy its pure waters. Intent is key and I see much of the good replaced by commercial coercion on this of all days. I usually just quietly ignore the day and wish for it to pass quickly. I pay heed to societal norms that dictate I should show love to those close to me, as if I did not any other day, but every year it gets more difficult to buy those flowers and send those gifts. I’d much rather surprise my girlfriend on February 12th than give her the expected on the 14th. Still, old habits die hard and I continue the play the part expected of me. Every year I hate myself a little more for it.

This year I was doing some reading on the martyr, or rather martyrs, that have given their name to this holiday. The names, dates, and stories are quite varied and there is, as usual, the pre-Christian pagan traditions that we have taken for granted the church grafting their holidays onto. One that stuck with me though is the hagiographical story of a Roman priest martyred during the reign of Claudius II for performing secret weddings for Christians in a time when they were being persecuted and such a union was not only illegal, but could be dangerous as well.

Whether or not this particular priest lived and the story of his martyrdom is true or an amalgam of many stories like it, the lesson is transmitted loud and clear nonetheless. A state cannot dictate the union of those whom love has touched. There will always be people who recognize this and will be there in support willing to risk even danger to allow the heart to follow the path it is destined to follow. When love, and not hate, is allowed to bloom all participants share in that joy.

This courage struck me and filled me with a quiet inspiring awe. The impish side of me immediately jumped at the irony of using this Christian martyr story of forbidden marriages to highlight, on this day, the current state of affairs in the world. Many couples, with a love no less pure than the greatest love stories in literature and history, are being forbidden public acknowledgment of what their hearts and indeed I would even boldly say heaven has joined. And on this day I seize on the irony that a lot of that opposition comes from the very institution whose heritage is replete with stories of dangerous and forbidden unions done in the name of love.

I hate to use the term “homosexual couple” or “same sex marriage” because to me they signify a difference and create in the mind a barrier that will always have to be overcome. Barriers that love, true love, has never recognized and has always overcome. Yet, such is the time we live in that these distinctions are made and these people are in many places being denied a basic human right to allow others to share in the joy that they have discovered and to proclaim to that world that they have found their love; their partner in this adventure of life.

On this Valentine’s day I seek to meditate on that. The simple joy of finding the one you love. The one person in life that you wish to grow old with. Gender ought to have no role that the government or any other body of people can dictate. To do so is to proclaim that we were made wrong, that we are somehow broken. There are some that believe this and I honestly feel a deep sense of loss for them. Rather than enjoy the beauty of the world as it is and seek to make it better they bemoan a lost ideal that is only in their heads. I choose love and I choose to celebrate with all those who have been fortunate enough to have been touched by its warm glow. All that wish to get married should have that right. If the state denies it, there are others that will not. Instead, they will share in the beautiful gift.

Happy Valentine’s Day. May you find that person that completes you. If you are fortunate enough to have already found them in this chaotic life, then congratulations! The heart knows no labels.

Brief Reflection on Race

By: Gus Victoria

No one is born to hate. We are taught that. The color of one’s skin or his place of birth cannot be an obstacle to the fulfillment of his potential in a society that truly values freedom and equality. Neither should her gender prevent her attaining the heights to which her heart and soul in lofty dreams soars. We live in a special place in a very special time. Each of us has the ability and the duty to march toward this dream that has been in the hearts of wise men for ages past. That the content of one’s character is the standard by which he is judged by his peers. Our prejudices have no place in this noble future. The black man and the white man disappear. They become simply man. The common bonds of love which every heart knows intimately should serve to bind us as a people; man, woman, old or young. Learn to love your enemy and you cease to have an enemy. This is the most difficult task we can possibly hope to accomplish. And yet, people have lived and died doing just that. By their example giving us hope and shaming us to act.

There is much injustice in this world. We have become inured to it. To such a degree that the above paragraph is seen as a naive empty call to ideals that don’t exist in the harsh reality we live in. They seem to be a waste of time. It is so much easier to revert to anger. Anger is more visceral. Like a fire fed oxygen it is fueled by actual wrongs committed. Unfortunately it is a fire we cannot control. It becomes then a conflagration in our hearts that soon turns to hate. That hate might feel good at first. Especially if one is wronged, this hate can move us to actions to right that offense. They are wrong.

No wrong committed by hate can ever be corrected by more hate. Whether the hate comes from ignorance or injustice it remains a potent destructive force.

Education is our key to understanding.

Understanding is what we must attain. It will allow us to begin to halt the cycle of hate.

Yes, yes, this is all well and good. Words spoken by far wiser men than me.

“The evil that racism once was surely is no longer.

“We have evolved as a people, as a society.

“Why Gus, do you continue to point this out?

“You obviously, seek to divide!

“Racism is dead except by people like you who reverse it.

“Stop talking about it and it will go away!”

Would that it were as simple as that. Little more do I wish than to live in such a world where these thoughts on racism are mere fancy on my part. That the heritage of hate is one left far behind us. The truth screams that it is not so. The blood of innocents cries out that it is not so. The tears of those who must witness daily this reality of destructive prejudice are testament that it is not so.

Racism is real. It lives. It thrives. In this country. In this state. In this city.

Slavery of body was abolished many years ago, paid with the blood of millions and the tears of millions more. Who legislates slavery of mind and soul to ignorance? Who can free us from that?

The march continues...

      

Love Is Its Own Law - Marriage Equality

By: Gus Victoria

Here we stand and wait at the threshold of history. Waiting for a verdict from the highest court in the land. Nine men and women soon make a decision that will impact millions. History will judge them based on that decision. We will celebrate or we will scorn. As a nation we will debate long after the decision has been handed down. Tears of joy and tears of despair will flow and mingle together.

Thousands march on either side. Millions more use their voices, words, and actions to advertise their belief. To change minds and hearts if possible. To rant if not. And what does it all mean? Nothing and everything.

At question is marriage and who among this nation’s citizens has a right to marry and whom. Seems a simple answer. The heart follows its own path, infinitely capable of that one force that is greater than all others; love. Can a couple of the same sex be allowed to marry and enjoy the same rights and benefits that heterosexual couples already do? To most of us the answer is clear and undebatable. The problem is that answer is not the same. Debate must, in such a State as our own, commence. Unfortunately we aren’t very civil when we feel ourselves, or those we care for, threatened and we begin to pepper this discussion of love with hate and prejudice. Violence can never create and hate can never persuade. Fear may induce some to act and think in a certain way for a while, but understanding brought about by love can banish fear easily. Hate has a firm hold only because we grasp it so tightly. Let go of it and let the heart speak. You’ll be surprised what it says.

More to the issue at hand though. Vague studies have been known to show...everything. I hate to discard a whole category of argumentation, but here when people are discussing passionate matters then the debate cannot be stripped down, quantified, and presented in a neat little study. Better to dispense with it altogether. Why cannot a man marry a man or a woman a woman? That is the question. At its center being the question; what is marriage?

How does one define it? That answer dictates on what side of this debate a person stands.

Scriptures and fear drive much of the conversation on one side. Fear and loathing on the other. Fear being common to both. The great divide is who can marry whom. For many that is what defines marriage and what, in maintaining the status quo, will keep its sanctity. A man marries a woman and they raise a family. That is marriage and its purpose. There is no other.

Wrong.

In this argument there is, and there must be a definite wrong answer and it is what makes it so refreshing for a philosopher used to dealing with deep, yet vague, questions about existence and the meaning of life. Outdated notions of the family unit are regressive in a world ready to move beyond the ancient mold of superstition and spiritual oppression. This does not mean religion does not have a place in this world, it still does. However it must understand it cannot captivate the minds and hearts of people as it once did to affect wholesale change on a society. Those bonds have rusted over the years and are clearly snapping.

That struggle is a death struggle. Rationalism and humanism in this century have and will continue to usher in a new Enlightenment. A second one that the church will not survive without serious reflection and change. Ignorance right now is an ally they need to abandon. Love was once its foundation, there will they find salvation.

That explains the ferocity of the opposition. The undermining of scriptural authority.

It is a moot point. Marriage may be defined in the eyes of the law however the lawmakers decide and the law of the heart that is love will always supercede it. A man may love whomever he chooses and a women may as well. The vow they make to each other no law of the land may ever break. To attempt to only condemns the lawmaker. Yes, hardships may have to be endured in a place where love outside the established norms exists. Some of these hardships may be fatal. This is a tragedy that those standing against marriage equality should take note of. Though the heart may be bruised and the body broken love, if it is true, will always endure. There is the sanctity of marriage. Not in the sex. Always in the heart.

The slippery slope argument that warns man may marry all sorts of animals and such after marriage is made legal is silly on two counts. The first one should be self-evident. The legalization of marriage will not create a wave of barnyard lovers. The second point is that marriage can even be legalized. Law ought to have no say in a covenant where they are not partners. It can grant benefits or take them away, but is cannot dissolve the union between two people if they have promised themselves to each other. You can says its invalid in all the law books of the country, but that does not make it so for them. Love is never invalid.

I rejoice as I stand at this threshold with many of my friends. I have no doubt that change in our nation will soon be upon us. I have no doubt that even that doesn’t matter. The debate won’t end. Love will outlive it though. Stand firm, be hopeful and NEVER be afraid to love!!